


Fluff me up, Scotty

by Miss_Von_Cheese



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Aftercare, Age Difference, Alien luvin', Boundaries discussions, Cuddles, Dates, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Multi, One Shot Collection, Pheromones sharing, Spock Has Daddy Issues, sex discussions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-11-28 14:32:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18209591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Von_Cheese/pseuds/Miss_Von_Cheese
Summary: A collection of fluffy one-shots in the universe of Star Trek: Discovery.





	1. Pike/Tyler: Breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> The Piler fandom is full of amazing writers who curate wonderful porn but there was a lack of self-indulgent schmoopy fluff that the show's unbearable plot twists left me craving so... there we are.

The smell of blood merged with the disgustingly tempting scent of burnt body, too similar to roasted meat for Ash not to like. He was only slightly ashamed to enjoy it, too used to the horror landscapes in his nightmares to worry anymore. Pictures of Klingon wars and one sided massacres he had more or less directly witnessed haunted his dreams, becoming more familiar than he would have wished. The night he would think about something else might actually be a pleasant surprise.

Far from the battlefield and clash of armors a soft voice echoed. A deep gentle tone, soothing like a balm over his mind. “Wake up, sleepy head…” 

Ash opened his mouth to speak, feeling Voq’s mind instinctively struggle to stay in their dream. The feeling of warm lips pressing against his caused Tyler's heart to bounce in his chest and gave him an even better motivation to wake up. He purred, kissed back without opening his eyes. The fog of his nightmares dissipated as Christopher's presence, so comforting and tangible, grounded him back to reality. 

Battle cries and agonizing groans slowly faded from his mind, replaced by the steady sounds of the ship. They were in the Captain's quarters. Said captain was kissing him awake, patient and gentle, fully aware he needed a moment to escape his violent dreams. A hand tenderly stroked his shoulder in a soothing motion.

Ash smiled in the kiss. His lover smelled fresh and clean, just out of the shower, but the scent of burnt meat still lingered, even though the specialist was awake now. He blinked sleepily.

“Morning,” he mumbled, voice hoarse. 

Chris sat back on the bed with a smile and one of these looks he had more and more often now. His grey eyes could not hide feelings that really shouldn't be there. Ash looked at him, quickly analyzed the situation. 

They had started this… whatever it was, a while ago. The tension and desire between them had made them fuck even before they managed to trust each other: quick secret encounters, sometimes furious, often dirtier than they'd care to admit, both taking risks, giving and receiving pleasure equally. 

Yet as they had gotten to know each other then let trust grow, they had accidentally nursed a new kind of feelings. Ash had slept a few times already in the captain's quarters but tonight was the first when he hadn't collapsed in exhaustion after one of their rough rides. Usually, he stayed in the narrow bed because his body was pleasantly sore and they both relished in the aftercare. 

This time however, they had drunk, talked, kissed, then fallen asleep in each other's arms like old lovers, making Ash feel like he was still welcome in Chris’ life even without those things he did with his hips or his tongue that left the older man speechless. He could simply stop by, cuddle and spoon him, and still get warm smiles in the morning. 

How long would they be able to continue this sweet nonsense, none of them knew but they were determined to enjoy it while they could. It had been a platonic night and for once, Ash also noticed, he had slept through it without even waking up when Chris had roused and prepared for his next shift. His hair was already combed into this perfect wave Ash loved to ruin. Neither the sensation of empty bed nor the sound of shower had woken Ash up. He who usually startled with every sound found himself so comfortable and at peace in Pike's quarters he had let his guards down and slept like a baby. How things had changed since their beginnings! 

He gave Chris a warm smile, brought the paler hand to his mouth to kiss his palm, loving the subtle blush that crept up the captain's temples. 

“Already good to go?” he asked lazily. “Where are my morning snuggles?”

Chris shook his head. The crinkles at the corners of his eyes when he smiled made Ash feel a certain way he was not sure he could identify. He knew he was not supposed to have such feelings for a coworker, a respected high-ranked officer, and they were overriding a ridiculous amount of protocols when they devoured each others like castaways getting their first real meal in a while. All of these voices telling Ash he was making the wrong choices could not compete with the guilty pleasure knowing someone wanted him, finally accepted him for who he was, not as a vessel, a projection, or a fantasy. 

“I got us breakfast,” Chris announced, pointing a finger at the bedside table. “I figured for once we could ignore healthy options and have something more… traditional.” 

Ash raised on an elbow to take a look. A tray was set with two plates of eggs, bacon, and shiny buttered pancakes dripping with maple syrup, as well as two large glasses of orange juice. Now that explained the lingering smell of burnt corpses he shouldn't have found so enthralling. He smirked.

“Really? Ignoring the docs’ recommendations now?” 

“It's not like you can't allow yourself a little cheat meal,” Chris retorted. He let one of his fingers follow a path down Ash's chest, in the hollow between his muscles, biting his lower lip. 

Ignoring the shivers ghosting fingertips sent down his spine, Ash sat on the bed then settled against the wall with his legs crossed. He pulled Chris in for a soft kiss and whispered his thanks against his skin. 

“What is the occasion?” he asked, before he placed one plate on his folded legs. 

Chris looked away for a moment, lost in his thoughts. In the dim artificial lights, silver hair shining among darker strands, his nostalgic look made him look more than his age. He had not been to war against the Klingons, a fact he still had a hard time dealing with, but the thousand lives he had lived with Starfleet reflected on his thoughtful face. 

When he looked back at Ash who had started digging through his eggs, he seemed at peace, glowing with sweet feelings. 

“When I watch you sleep next to me... when you whisper in Klingon and your nightmares make you cry, and even when you're a pain in my ass for no reason, I only see a man who needs a lot of love and affection,” Chris shrugged. “I might be wrong but, just in case… better safe than sorry.” 

Ash felt himself blush up to the tip of his ears. He looked down at his plate, almost choking on his pancake bite. His lashes fluttered as he put down his fork. 

Knowing someone cared was huge for him, a new territory he didn't dare to even think too much about. He refused to admit how much he enjoyed it, how he loved to be in the hands of a friend, a lover who took such great care of him. When Captain Pike removed his official jacket and turned into Christopher, sweet and protective Chris who gave Ash precisely what he craved, Voq had no say in that matter. Klingon impulses were of no use under such tender care. 

“And what about you, handsome?” Ash asked with a smirk. “What is it you need?” 

Chris shook his head with the kind of embarrassed smile that hollowed dimples on his cheeks. “Oh, nothing, don't worry about me. This is turkey bacon by the way, I didn't know if...” 

His voice trailed off and Ash slowly looked up. More than the cuddles and gentle touches, it's the little attentions that made him fall for the captain. The way Chris smoothed the wrinkles he had created himself on Ash's uniform before they parted. When he fixed his badge or brushed his hand to correct his actions. How he constantly checked for consent and boundaries even for a simple hug. How with a few words and a slice of bacon he could show how much he cared. 

“I… I don't think I could still have any kind of faith after all that happened,” Ash admitted, “but I appreciate the sentiment. Making my ancestors proud this time!” 

They both laughed at his statement and Ash could not help staring as his lover dived into his plate with satisfied moans, showing his appetites in food could match those he had in bed, a taste for naughty things he liked to fully enjoy. 

What Chris needed, deep down, Ash wasn't sure yet. A big spoon, someone to hold at night. A companion to talk about anything instead of reading alone in his quarters. Someone he could be Chris with, one who could see behind the uniform and the status of a man who had to put his own needs after everyone else's. 

Ash put down his cleaned plate on the tray and leaned forward, brushed his lips on gray temples. “Thank you, Christopher.” 

He stole a kiss and a slice of bacon, then swiftly got up with a wink.

“For your heart, old man!” he teased, loving the upset pout that appeared on his lover's face. The age jokes actually helped Pike who remained self-conscious about their differences and loved that they could both make the issue less serious by laughing about it. 

“I don't hear you complain about my physical condition,” Chris replied as he enjoyed the show of Tyler dressing up. 

Ash bit his lower lip and wrinkled his nose, scrutinized by that too smug face. “I really don't.” 

He got dressed, looking at the clock, and noticed he had slept late. They wouldn't have time to walk to the bridge separately, unless one of them showed up late for their next shift, and that was a battle Ash didn't want to fight. 

“People are gonna start talking eventually,” he mumbled. He didn't dare watching his lover, concerned with his reactions. A soft chuckle echoed in the silent quarters. 

“I think Saru already knows. Is that a problem with you?” 

There was a slight defiance in Christopher's voice, like a constant challenge. They had proved each other everything and showed how much they cared and yet, sometimes, remnants of their quarellous nature resurfaced. A tone, almost provoking, that showed Chris was strong and confident enough to handle his crew knowing he had such a scandalous partner, and asked if Ash would have the guts to deal with it. 

“No problem for me,” Ash shrugged, tying his hair that for once had not been too manhandled during the night. “I might not be very patient if someone implies I'm the Captain’s pet though.” 

Chris got up with a soft laugh. “I trust you to handle these issues with all necessary discretion.” 

It was more of a plea than a threat. Please, don't give them a reason to mess with our relationship. Ash let Pike lovingly run his hands over his shoulders to smooth his uniform. 

Once they were both ready for duty, Ash walked towards the corridor but Chris caught his wrist just before he pressed the panel to open the door. Tender gaze fell on him and Chris gently pulled him down to his level. Blue eyes searched for his approval once again, his lover always waiting for a sign he could move forward, and Ash chuckled.

“It's okay, you don't have to, I want to _be_ kissed too…” 

“Just checking,” Chris purred before he ran his hand behind Ash's neck, firm and manly enough to make the specialist melt against him. The kiss was slow, loving, with just a little tongue for good measure and their hips barely brushing. A silent promise to keep their feelings as they were, no matter what would happen today.

When they parted, Ash caught the captain's hand before it reached the pad. He was flustered, breathless.

“Wait!” he scolded. “I can't go out like that!” 

Chris eyed him from head to toes, not missing his bulging crotch, an unbearable smirk on his face. 

“What… just for a kiss? Kids these days!” he snickered and opened the door, snorting at Ash's outraged growl. 

Following with his hands folded in front of him, Ash whispered, “You're gonna pay for it.” 

A quick smile and a wink proved how Pike would eagerly wait for that threat to be executed. As much as he wanted to get angry, Ash had to admit he loved having the man's trust more than ever.


	2. Saru/Linus : Pheromones exchange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commander Saru/Lieutenant Linus - Rating Teen

“Thank you, commander Saru. I must admit I had the most formidable evening,” Linus said with a nod towards his superior. 

Saru was still slightly puzzled, having spent the last few hours in a dreamy state. He didn't believe his own senses at first when the young lieutenant had come to him and invited him to share a private dinner in his quarters, under the pretense that spending the fourteenth of February [human time], on a Terran ship was a good occasion to engage in romantic activities. 

For a moment the Kelpian thought it was a terrible joke, the kind of pranks young trainees used to bully the weakest members of their teams with, but the junior officer was serious, planted on his feet, giving him his most determined look. 

“I do have feelings for you,” Linus had explained. “And wish to explore in your company the possibilities of pursuing a relationship, if so would suit you.” 

Saru was quite relieved his ganglios were gone for he would have panicked otherwise. He had never rejected the idea of finding a romantic partner and have intimate friendships, but with Linus? The man was gorgeous beyond reasons! A handsome fella like him could have had anyone he wanted, with his lovely scaly skin and his shiny wide eyes… how flattering was this newly revealed interest! Saru was certain he had spent the whole evening blushing, or even reddening and palpitating when Linus brushed long claws against his fingers, outrageously flirtatious. 

As it turned out though, they had a lot in common and shared many ideas and point of views, and when their opinions diverged they managed to engage in passionate but warm debates without arguing. By the end of the evening, when Saru announced he was going back to his quarters, Linus thanked him for this delightful moment. 

Before the Kelpian reached the door, Linus opened his mouth then closed it. He fidgeted nervously, blinked his delicate eyelids a few times then sighed, “I would very much like to demonstrate my affection by brushing my nose on your skin to share pheromones… would you be interested in that?” 

“I, hum… very much,” Saru nodded. “This would be my pleasure, lieutenant.” 

And as the Saurian gently stroked his cute flat nose over the ridges of his cheek, Saru’s heart started beating like Klingon drums, a shocking happiness he had never felt before. One of the sweetest discoveries the so-called Starfleet ship gave him through the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ficlet also is featured in the "[Then reaching for the stars at night as our lives had just begun...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18169208/chapters/43167797)" collection.


	3. Spock/Pike: First Times in Mojave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris invited Spock to spend some time off on Earth with him. But before getting close to a much younger and inexperienced Vulcan, there are things to discuss...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This show is coming into our houses and destroying everything we love so I just won't stop making fluff rain, alright? This can be set whenever you want, the boys get a vacation on Earth but you decide if it's now, later, in the past, in the future ignoring canon, whatev'...
> 
> Inspired by [this picture of Soft Anson](https://scifanatic-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/anson-mount-star-trek-discovery-season2-premiere-2header777.jpg).

A flash of light illuminated the dry area. A silent beam. Bothered by the intrusion, a small lizard frantically ran away from the scene, even faster than the teleportation beam. In an instant Spock materialized in the silent desert, surrounded by a bright ray. He stumbled, his body having to adapt to a different atmosphere than what he felt in the ship, quickly regained balance and composure as he became aware of his surroundings. 

He looked around, pupils widening to gather every possible piece of information about the location he was visiting for the first time. The sky was dark, atmosphere clean, and no clouds prevented him from seeing a rather alien view of the Milky Way. He had traveled far and wide for his young age, Spock could not deny it, he had been to other worlds than Vulcan, visited many dry planets, yet nothing compared to the sight of the rocky mountains at night. Everything felt foreign to him. He wanted to grab his PADD to analyze his surroundings, all the exotic Terran elements he saw, felt, smelled, and heard but also knew he wanted to enjoy his first holiday in a long time and be adventurous. 

Despite his being impressed of the strange place, Spock could already guess a new emotion pooling in his stomach, gathering in his guts. These sounds of the night, the map of the stars, the dusty air sticking to his skin, he knew he would never forget for these memories would be tied to his cherished partner. He stood over the ground that had cradled his dear friend and Captain many years ago, and turned him into the man he loved. 

A few feet away stood a small wooden house that looked a lot like those Spock had seen in Amanda's old books. His night vision was good enough now to see the details of the tiny construction without light and it didn't take long for him to notice the silhouette laying on a bench under the porch. A slight impatience moved his feet and held his heart as he stepped closer. 

He had not seen his companion in a month now, and could not be more eager to spend two entire weeks together on a paid leave. This would be just the two of them. A small ranch in the desert, on Earth. Spock had not been on holidays for such a long time he had forgotten what it even felt like, and getting to spend time off duty with his loving partner was a prospect he enjoyed more than he would admit. 

He trotted to the little building. He knew Christopher was dozing on the bench, acknowledging the familiar breathing pattern: a very soft snoring, the calm rhythm of his chest rising and falling like steady waves on the shore, and yet as he stepped closer Spock could not recognize him entirely. Chris was wearing a thick sweater with a turtleneck, as well as what the Vulcan identified as a pair of “jeans”, protected from the cool air by a plaid that looked way softer than their Starfleet blankets. A book, a blown candle, and an empty glass of alcohol remained on the floor next to him like traces of his quiet evening. 

Spock knew the discoveries he would make during this vacation would be important, primordial even. He would get to see his human partner interact with his natural habitat, he would see more of Chris and less of Captain Pike, and thus find out if they were compatible companions on a more intimate level, not just as crewmen. Seeing Chris so casual though, with his imperfect hair, his greyish beard, almost white, his cosy sweater, made Spock's heart bounce and shake and twist in a brand new illogical way. 

He licked his bottom lip nervously, tiptoed over the wooden floor not to make the panels crack, silent as a cat, placed his suitcase in a corner of the porch and settled on the floor next to the bench. He was moved. A softness emanated from his friend, a feeling he wished he could dive into. He fantasized for a second to be small as a bug and slip under that fluffy plaid to feel all this warmth around him, but he also wanted to keep looking at his handsome partner to memorize every curve of his face, every line, every grey and white hairs --and he would! 

Everything looked and felt different than their usual setting and yet, far from being uncomfortable, Spock was excited being given the opportunity to learn more about his partner. He crossed his legs in a meditative posture, let the atmosphere of the field, the mountains, the thousand sounds of the desert give him a first taste of real human life. And a sight he could never tire of. 

.

The sun was barely tracing the contours of the closest peaks when Chris’ breathing eventually grew deeper, then more irregular. He woke with a soft yawn, pink sunrise atmosphere painting his skin a beautiful shade. His tired frown turned into a grin, predictable yet always moving, as he saw his partner.

“Spock!” he mumbled, voice hoarse. “You're here…” 

“Yes,” Spock nodded. “We finished our mission earlier than expected and I was allowed to start my vacation accordingly.” 

Chris stretched his shoulders with a lazy smile, rubbed his eyes with his closed fists, making himself look even more cuddleable. His warm hand reached for Spock and brushed his cheek.

“For how long have you been here? You should have woken me up. I didn't mean to fall asleep outside last night but this book was so good…” 

Spock’s eyes sparkled in compassion, knowing the feeling of not being able to put down a good book or science thesis. “I'm fine, I was beamed three hours and a half ago and watched you sleep.”

“Oh? Uh... really, but why?” Chris asked with a raised eyebrow, looking sincerely confused. His lost face was endearing, making Spock's heartbeat a little faster.

Spock’s lashes fluttered, “Why do people stare at sunsets?” 

Chris looked down, a dark flush spreading over his cheeks. He bit his lower lip with a chuckle. “Oh-- okay.” 

Spock knew he would have to get used to seeing a much more emotional side of his lover, now that he was off-duty, away from responsibilities, still, seeing the strong unbreakable captain he had fallen for blush like a child pleased him beyond measure. 

“So, science officer,” Chris asked with a smirk and a fond look. “What have your observations of Earth taught you so far?” 

Spock considered the question for a moment as the first sun rays peeped above the mountains to come tickle the tip of Christopher's hair. 

“That I find your highly attractive in a more natural state,” he stated, not even embarrassed by his own audacity. 

Chris’ lips formed a surprised “O” and his eyebrows shot up. He tried to guess by himself, “Highly attractive? Are you suggesting the Vulcan equivalent of finding me, uh… “hot as fuck”?” 

Spock did not like the sound of this vulgar language and yet could not deny the clarity of the idioms. With an imperceptible shrug he shot back, “I believe this would be an accurate translation, yes.” 

Chris rolled onto his side, adjusting his posture on the hard bench, to take a better look at his friend, beautiful smile never leaving his face. “And here I thought a vacation away would make you a little bit more reasonable.” 

“Speaking of which,” Spock added before he placed a hand over his own heart to make his solemn admission, “I must confess I stole a kiss from you while you were asleep.” 

He was not afraid of his companion's reaction, having learned some time ago that a certain amount of physical contact could be acquired from him without consent asked --or, more precisely, that their relationship status made this consent a given in a few established situations. Kissing him on the bridge in front of all the crew was not a reasonable option, for example. The amused chuckle that escaped Chris’ lips only comforted him. 

“You did what now?” the older man laughed as he sat on his bench, faking outrage. “Three hours on my planet and you already commit felony? Sorry, but…”

Chris lowered himself and gently tugged on Spock's collar to urge him to get up. Spock raised onto his knees, loving the playful spark in the grey irises he knew so well, and the lines at the corner of his eyes. 

“I can't let that slip, love, I want it back. At interest rate.” 

It was still unclear what caused the biggest turmoil in Spock's chest as Chris took back what was rightfully his: the sweet name he knew he was the only one to receive, or tender lips on his, providing for human warmth he had been deprived for so long. Their last kiss was too far away in the timeline of their lives, one month without touching his skin felt like eternity. Spock had never wished so hard to have access to time traveling technologies to move faster towards their reunion.

Chris motioned to break the kiss and Spock chased his lips with a silent whimper, throwing his arms around his partner's neck not to let him go. Surprise quickly fading into reciprocal needs, Chris held his waist in his large hands, pulling Spock closer to him. The Vulcan felt attracted to his body like a quark bound to its neighbor by strong interaction. He dared parting his lips to let his tongue wander and be bold without words this time, and shivered at the wave of lust that went through him as Chris responded. 

Was it his human side taking over as they stood on this planet? The feeling of Christopher's body softened by the thick sweater that made him comfortable as a stuffed toy, the silky texture of his cheeks, as well as the informal setting, made him realise how lucky he thought himself having such a partner. 

Yet as loving hands slid down his lower back, palming his bottom, he startled and broke the kiss, flustered and breathless --though still relatively collected by human standards. 

Chris wanted to initiate mating, he understood. 

Spock remained speechless for a while until, after a few seconds, Chris took his hands away with a sorry gasp.

“Oh, oh-- sorry. I got carried away, I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay? Spock… can you tell me, please? It felt good and I wanted to touch, but you've got to tell me if I went too far,” Chris apologized, rambling a little. “Damn, sure I went too far, obviously. I'm so sorry.” 

Spock’s mind was racing faster than his heart, trying to process, understand, and sort his hesitations, his desires, his needs. He considered for half a second to use the Vulcan pinch on Chris to get a minute of silence to think about it all. After a while he slowly looked up, reading sad worry on the face he cherished. 

“I am fine, and you did not overstep boundaries. I promise I enjoyed that gesture, probably as much as you did.” 

“But?” Chris asked worriedly to encourage him to go on. 

“But we have not talked about this yet,” Spock stated. “And after studying the mating rituals of so many species, humans included, I would like to discuss the matter with you before deciding whether or not we should engage in those activities.”

The captain slightly tilted his head with a concerned frown. He took a deep breath then shifted on the bench, knocking on the wood next to him to invite Spock to join him. For this particular kind of conversation, it would be better if they sat side by side as equals, or so Spock assumed. 

“Come here, sit with me. I feel like you've got a lot of… uncertainties about all this. If you're not a hundred percent sure that this is what you want, then yes, there are things we need to talk about, and the first is that I would never force you to do anything you don't want to. I told you I loved you. I do, with all my heart, and as far as I'm concerned sex is not a prerequisite for our relationship. Ever.” 

Spock got up and, as careful and measured as usual, sat next to his companion. He felt embarrassed to openly talk about such topics but would not show it, and knew that it was important to exchange boundaries and set a framework for this new step in their relationship. Chris rested a hand on his thigh and Spock covered it with his own. 

“I have researched everything I could about human intercourse and your relationships. I wanted to be more educated about the specifics of your culture… as it turns out you have many, so I studied more carefully American culture.” 

“Yes,” Chris nodded. “What is it you want to know? I feel like all the answers you might seek you have surely found already.” 

Spock gave a solemn nod. “Yes, I am quite skilled when it comes to finding information, but… I am not sure I qualify to be a satisfying partner.” 

A small amused smile appeared on Chris’ face but quickly faded, as he licked his lips. 

“I see that this is a serious concern for you, so even though this idea never crossed my mind I’ll reply with sincerity,” the captain promised, pointing at his own chest with his hand. “What makes you think you would not be? For all I know, you've always been good to me, you are kind, gentle, benevolent even though you sometimes… like to test people's patience, but who am I kidding this is why I love you. You have all the qualities of my ideal lover so far. If you fear your inexperience might make you a less satisfying partner, know that I would be thrilled and happy to provide a safe space for you to experiment and get in touch with your sexuality. You don't have to have it all figured out already, discoveries are part of the process.” 

“And I am grateful for that, Christopher,” Spock assured, brushing his fingertips over his friend's cheekbone. The desire he felt for his handsome human was burning his whole being, and the fear of not being able to give him what he needed was almost paralyzing. “I have found many occurences, during my studies, that humans enjoyed sizeable genitalia. It was repeated in conversations between humans, males and females, and how the most appreciated sexual partners were, I quote, ‘well endowed’. However I was not able to get a proper universal scale to make sure I could be considered good enough for you.” 

Chris’ face went through a whole rainbow of emotions as Spock talked about his last remaining issue, from surprise to sadness, to concern and amusement. He seemed to want to laugh for a second, yet laid on Spock the fondest look, one of these deep demonstrations of empathy he could give sometimes. 

“I… I find that idea completely insane,” he assured with a sad smile. “And yet I know we've all been there at some point. I understand. It's been a while, I can't say I remember precisely about this time but I had similar concerns when I was a teenager.”

“I can understand why,” Spock said, judgingly. “These measurements seem to bear significance for your kind.” 

Chris shook his head, smiling, and placed an arm around Spock's shoulders to pull him in and kiss his forehead in a loving manner. “My kind is dumb, love. Humans are not always a species to be proud of, trust me.” 

He rested his forearm on Spock's lower back and used his free hand to entwine their fingers, protective and reassuring as always. 

“I have shared my bed with, uh… a few people already, and I swear I do not endorse these ways of thinking. As the elders said, ‘It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean’, if you get my point… or maybe not yet, it doesn't matter.” 

“Right,” Spock nodded even though he was not sure to fully understand the human proverb as of now.

“I once had a transgender boyfriend whose cock was less than one inch long,” Chris recalled with a smile filled with memories and emotions. “Let me tell you… we had a lot of fun. Really. For me, nothing matters more than the behaviors of both partners, details are not important. As long as everyone is happy and consents, there are no problems, only solutions. Nothing really is universal in love, it’s about individuals first.” 

Spock swallowed in silence. His fingers felt warm, feverish against his friend’s. Despite the loving words a set of dark insecurities lingered deep down, in places of his mind he wasn't keen on exploring. He leaned forward to try and kiss Chris to forget about his hesitations but the older man prevented him from doing so with a finger over his lips.

“Do you have other questions?” 

“Not yet,” Spock simply replied. “I might have in the future and I trust I'll be allowed to ask them whenever I need to.” 

Chris nodded before he placed his hand on Spock’s jawline, “Absolutely. Now it's my turn to ask. I want you to do something for me, love. Stop right now, please, stop thinking you might not be good enough for me. You are good enough, Spock. You are an excellent officer, a wonderful friend, a loving boyfriend. You are perfect to me, and you have nothing to prove. Nothing at all.” 

Spock froze on the wooden bench, unable to move or even think further. 

“Do we agree? You are perfect for me, and I hardly see how you could be anything less.” 

“Thank you,” Spock whispered, knowing Pike was sincere but unable to grasp the reality of his feelings. To be loved unconditionally remained an alien sensation. He let the captain, his special friend, pull him in a warm hug. Chris planted small kisses over his forehead, gentle and soft. 

“Spock,” the human added, holding his chin between his fingers to tilt his head up and look in his eyes. “By all means I want you to remember this is not a one-way trip or a suicide mission. We can and we must stop whenever you need to. You have to tell me because I'm not always good at reading Vulcan cues and the last thing I want is to hurt you. You can stop everything when you need it. One word and we're done, no explanations asked. Your boundaries matter to me...” 

“As yours to me,” Spock purred, brushing his nose against his lover's. The warm tone and reassuring words helped him get rid of anxiety and feel feline again. 

Chris took a deep breath, struggled not to kiss him before his speech was done. “Your word is my command, is that clear for you? In bed I might be the specialist for now but you are the captain. Do we agree?” 

There was something deeply embarrassing, mortifying even, in being read so clearly by someone, but Spock also felt reassured. Regaining control over a situation where everything would be new and unknown felt comfortable. He licked his lips.

“We do agree. What about you Christopher, do you desire me as I desire you?” 

“Well… If you want it too,” Chris shrugged, bringing some light joy in the solemn moment, “Then I'll be happy to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

Spock's cheeks felt feverish at his outrageous words. He could not break eye contact as Chris gently wrapped strong arms around his chest, and Spock realized how appealing felt the idea of being explored like a virgin territory. To let Chris wander and discover the spots that made him happy, excited, heated, or downright decadent. A thousand thoughts invaded his mind, some practical, some feral, too many interrogations that flickered and faded like an old screen being unplugged when warm lips found his earlobe. 

.

On the bed where they had landed soon after they started devouring each other, Spock was curled up on his side, head resting on the pillow, an arm hooked around his folded legs. He felt in shock, a good emotion, yes, but still shock. His vital signs were stable if not for his heated organism and racing heart. His nose prickled like a thousand needles irritated it and his eyeballs were covered with a wet layer that blurred his vision. 

Chris was stroking his arm softly, in a gentle motion. He asked for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes. “Are you okay, sweetheart? Need anything?”

Spock knew his mutism was a cause of worry for his friend but could not sort his thoughts and emotions fast enough to reply. He simply reached for Chris’ hand and held it like an anchor. The human had already given him a glass of water, physical contact, and all the attention he needed. 

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” Chris offered in a concerned tone. “You seem like you have a lot to process.” 

Spock did but he managed to scoot closer to his lover and rest his cheek on the broad chest, rocked by the motion of his steady breathing and the muffled sound of beating heart. The scent of his skin awoke intense and still fresh memories.

Spock did not believe in perfection, even less in the human form, yet Chris had been nothing but perfect for the last two hours. He had been gentle and trustworthy, he had respected all his boundaries and worked with an almost religious devotion to draw a map of what Spock liked and what he loved to the point of madness. He had been good, selfless, generous in every aspect. The officer had sometimes felt like an ancient deity as Chris patiently worshipped every part of his body, making him feel important, worthy. Always so pedagogue Chris had never done anything without a warning first, and Spock's most feverish dreams would now be haunted by the soft voice murmuring in his ear “Now I'm going to suck your cock, love, tell me if I have to stop, okay?”. 

And even though he had started by guiding him, carefully leading him towards paths that felt oh so right, Chris eventually gave himself in such an open way Spock's convictions were shaken to the core. The way Chris had arched in his arms, moaning, begging for his mercy. Spock had felt more powerful than ever, holding his lover's well being in his hands, moved by the inebriating sounds escaping his throat. 

Never had he thought mating with a human might be such a life changing experience but Chris was wrong about one thing: this was a one way trip and there would be no coming back. 

Spock sat on the mattress, not concerned with his own nudity anymore. Now Chris had seen everything of him, his body, his soul had been bared for him. Immediately, the captain sat in the same fashion, legs crossed. As usual Spock’s non-human expressivity confused him and he seemed troubled. Reassuring him was not a burden, for he had been a great comfort to Spock in many occasions.

“This was beautiful,” the Vulcan eventually exhaled, causing a relieved sigh within his partner.

He ran a hand up his torso, rested his palm over Chris’ shoulder. 

“This was a pleasant experience from the start, but the way you left me control over your body in the end, how you let me in charge of your pleasure. This was beautiful,” Spock analyzed, somehow relieved to express his feelings, for it seemed the logical thing to do after connecting on a more physical level. “I could have done anything to you, even if my will were different from yours, yet you still showed me your vulnerability, your strength and weaknesses. I've felt so much trust in you and I still cannot understand why I was allowed this privilege. I feel like this is not a level of trust you allow everyone… am I right?” 

Chris smiled, let out a heavy sigh as he leaned forward to rest his forehead against Spock's then nuzzled his cheek. 

“I have every reason to trust you,” he assured. “Indeed, I don’t reach such intimacy with all my partners, some encounters were more… casual. But making love to me has always been more about trust and connection than measurements or performances.”

“I see,” Spock nodded thoughtfully. His thumb traveled across the curve of his lover's cheek. “This was beautiful, you opening yourself so honestly, showing me your most intimate emotions… humanity is beautiful.” 

The quick move of his lover’s eyebrows was not missed on him, as he admitted slightly changing his opinion on humankind. Chris pulled him in for a hug, pleasantly silent. Spock let his tense shoulders relax through the comfort of the tight embrace. Gentle caresses brought him warmth, a nice contrast with the cool air of the room. 

“What about you?” Chris eventually mumbled against his bare skin. “What are your first impressions of this new territory?” 

Spock sat up, straightening his back, hands curled between his human's. A few seconds were necessary for him to organize his thoughts. 

“Thank you, Christopher, for providing a safe space. I discovered sides of myself I wasn't aware of. I did not know I could enjoy so much taking care of someone else, and that this urge to protect those we love could be more than a basic instinct of preservation. I did not want to save your life as if it were in danger, as I do on missions, rather I wanted to cherish you and give you everything you desired. I felt possessive and proud of you, all at once, I wanted to provide for you, offer you everything you deserve.” 

“Hm... the captain of my bedroom likes being in charge, then?” Chris smiled, a playful spark in his eyes. 

“I liked being your leader for a moment indeed,” Spock confirmed. “Being responsible for your pleasure was gratifying. I also wish to be on the receiving end soon, to experience the sensations that made you so happy.” 

Chris ran his hands behind Spock's neck with one of his small tender smiles. “We will get there eventually… there’s no need to rush, even though, forgive my humanity, I thought it was too damn good. In the meantime I hope you will enjoy this first stay on Earth, and that we'll get the best vacation we could hope for.” 

“I long for it,” Spock nodded, before he settled back on the bed with a satisfied sigh. “I have made a list of museums I would like to visit, and hoped I could get to meet individuals within the aardvarks and platypuses species. They seem like good opportunities to learn about the mysteries of biology.” 

“Learning?” Chris pouted. “But… what about my plans to go camping and live naked in the desert?”

“These are _holidays_ , Chris,” Spock shrugged, insisting on the word. “I want to use all this free time to study new topics and learn more about the universe --and your body as well. What good would they be for then?”

“I don't know, love. Resting? Doing nothing?” 

Spock almost rolled his eyes, offended by his lover's words. “Would you please keep your foolish pleasantries to yourself? You are aware that I would rather be dead than bored.” 

Chris leaned on the mattress, loving how Spock immediately curled himself around his body. “Fine… I guess we will find a way to articulate our needs then.” 

“We will,” the younger man assured with renewed confidence, wrapping a possessive arm around his lover’s frame.


End file.
